I will not complain... I will not complain... I will not comp

Lots going on these past few weeks that has really tested my resolve to stay on any type of weight loss program.  I will not complain, however.  As I read my old blogs, I am struck by how positive I was.  I am now right this minute resolving to bring back that positivity and to commit again to the modified fast: three shakes and one healthy meal.

I have lost 86 pounds total as of this writing.  I had gotten to 95 pounds, but gained some the last few weeks.  I do have to say that never did I feel in danger of going back to the insanity that brought me over 300 pounds.  That can never happen again.  I honestly don't know how I ate so much but I must have really worked hard at it.  Actually I know I did.

I have committed to a 30 day streak of exercise, making sure to do one type of exercise a day, whether it be the gym, a walk, or simply some ab work on the floor.

I have figured out that the real pillars of my weight loss were as follows, and if I give up one, then I am committing to NOT lose any more weight.

1.  Exercise daily

2.  Journal my food daily

3.  Go to the clinic

4.  Blog

I wanted to show you some before and after photos.  The 'afters' are a little old so I'm a bit thinner now, but they are pretty cool to see...

See you next time!

I'm Baaaack!

I took a long break from blogging.  For many reasons - I was running in a political campaign which meant that not only was I busy but I also had to protect my personal life to an extent that I never had to before.  But, now it's over (I lost), so I'm back blogging.  I had almost forgotten that I once had this blog, it was good for me, so I'm continuing.

I no longer count the number of weeks, but I have now lost 86 pounds!  I have been eating all food or maybe one or two shakes and two to three meals for the last, oh, ten weeks?  It has been remarkably easy to lose weight even on food.  I know that lots of Opti people get frightened of food, but I never felt that way.  I really felt that I was prepared and ready to eat, and that I would not go back to my old habits.

And pretty much that has held true.  I've exercised pretty regularly, but lately I'm getting bored with the gym - I'm going to try something else - I'm thinking yoga?  Though that type of thing - trying a new exercise - makes me scared and nervous.  I do have some support, however, in some friends who go to the yoga place, so I will definitely rely on them.

What is different now is that I enjoy exercising - I feel energetic and like I have stamina and energy to burn!

One rub - I have gained about three pounds in the last four weeks - between Thanksgiving and my birthday and my AF's birthday and Xmas parties, I have definitely gone off plan and gained weight.  But, funnily enough, I'm not anxious about it - I do not see this as a slippery slope.  My goal is to minimize the damage and get to January 1 with no more than a 5 pound gain, and continue back down the weight loss ladder again.

I picked up this book, The Beck Diet Solution - check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Beck-Diet-Solution-Person/dp/0848731735

It's very interesting, and even though I have just started reading it, I feel like I'm going to learn a lot - it's fascinating and practical advice.  I'll tell you more as I wade through it.

Oh, one more thing - I am no longer using my Sleep Apnea machine, but am instead sleeping quietly and calmly once again.  I no longer have any back pain, and I am wearing pants that are TEN sizes smaller than what I used to wear.

I still have a few pounds to lose - maybe 60?  But I feel awesome already, and I'm going to get there next year - I'm in no rush.

Moving On!

Week 21 - 77.8 pounds lost!

I have had some twists and turns this week - started out deciding that I was going to go the whole 24 weeks allowed on the full fast.  However, that thought has evolved this week.

Last week when I overdid the one hour exercise limit, I ended up with a zero loss for the first time ever!   So that has been a factor in my thinking this week - I'd like to exercise more and even lift weights, which I am instructed not to do on this very low calorie program - something about not taking in enough calories to build muscle and the possibility of harming existing muscle.

I succumbed to an especially bad day on day 2 of this week, and ended up eating some nuts, raisins, and and a tuna sandwich.  Not terrible, I know, but still.

I then got back on the full fast bandwagon for the next three days, taking me to yesterday, where I had a watershed moment.  I really am craving food - I want protein and veggies!  I think I've made a decision to either go on the moderate fast or transfer to the full food 'Lean' program offered by the clinic.  I am thinking right now that I cannot tolerate the shakes any more - five months seems long enough to be on the shakes.

I have taken off a good amount of the total weight that I want to lose, and I am grateful.  However, I'm ready to eat healthfully and exercise to get in shape!  I started on my own today with lettuce, tomatoes, some zero calorie vinaigrette, and some sliced turkey.

I am eager to go to the clinic tomorrow to discuss it with the Dr.  I don't really anticipate a loss, I may even end up with a gain (If you recall, I went on the moderate fast for only four days while on vacation, and I gained .8/LB, which is normal when one transitions and your body adjusts to the food, usually retaining some water) BUT I remain positive and ready to continue losing weight and moving towards my final goal.

Will you stay with me and listen to my story?

High Horse? Get thee off of there.

A couple of days ago, a fellow poster in a Facebook group asked for advice because she did not have a local Optifast doctor or clinic.  She said the nearest one was two hours or more away, and that they were not taking clients.  Feeling sympathy for her, I told her that you can get the shakes on Amazon.com.  It's the same product - my friend who recommended this program to me buys them there all the time.  The person to whom I told this is an adult, and presumably able to make rational, intelligent decisions on her own.  Many others told her to make sure she sees a doctor to monitor her health, etc.  

Due to my advice, one of the posters has left this aforementioned Facebook group.

Listen, I know that it's not ideal to buy the product online, as it's not 'recommended' by the clinics (Could that perhaps have something to do with the mark-up they then lose?), but if I had to drive four hours round trip to a clinic, I would welcome that little bit of help that I gave.  It's this type of perfectionist attitude that creates overeaters, in my humble opinion.  It's downright cold to expect someone to just forget about pursuing something that has helped myself and others so much, just because they don't have the same opportunities we have been fortunate enough to have.  And my basic feeling about this person leaving the Facebook group is pretty clear. 

Bye bye gurl!

Say what?

OK, so I went on the Moderate Fast for three days out of the 7 and I gained .8 pounds - That is POINT EIGHT pounds for those of you that read quickly, like me.  I followed the meal plan to the letter, so you can imagine my reaction.

The doctor explained to me that this happens often when people switch to the moderate fast.  Something about the food making you retain water.  Apparently your body adjusts, but I went right back onto the full fast so I'm sure I'll have a good weight loss this week.  I'm not discouraged at all.  As a matter of fact, it was worth every second.

Yummy LOBSTER!!!  My sweet little girl is lucky that she took back five fingers after putting her hands on my meal.;)

My daughter enjoys her lobster.

All of us, post food consumption

Onwards and upwards... er, downwards.

Ahhh, that's better.

I'm feeling much better after adding the bar to the daily program.  I also switched up the flavors of the shakes, concentrating now on the chocolate.  It may take a while before I'm ever able to drink the vanilla ones again.  I've been walking a lot, getting signatures for my campaign, and I feel really really good and back on track!!

That's right, momma got her groove back

I go to Maine on July 26 for four days.  I'm thinking of going on the moderate fast so I can have lobster.  I know some of my fellow Optis have done this for the same reason - vacay! - and did well on it.  I'll keep you informed of my progress.  xo

KRanKy!

That's right, dear reader, I'm a cranky bitch this week.  I am sick. to. death. of. these. freaking. shakes.  I can barely stomach one, let alone five.  I have been barely able to finish one in a sitting and ended up eating much less than I was supposed to.  As an example, when I went to the doctor today I had only had one shake, and it was 5PM.  That's not a good thing for obvious reasons, but also because your body goes into starvation mode... yada yada yada, you've heard it all before, I'm sure.  Anyone who has ever had a weight problem is an amateur nutritionist and has far more knowledge than the average skinny bitch.

I confessed my feelings to the doctor tonight and I was not happy with her response.  She told me I could go on the moderate fast or switch to the all-food, 'Lean' program.  She said that neither were good ideas for me, however, since I had lost so much weight already and was doing so well and that I look so good that I was probably thinking that I was done and was just going to go back to my old patterns.
Bitch says WUT???

Excuse me?

So I says to her I says, trying to refrain from wagging my finger and my head,  'That is NOT the problem.  I'm well aware that I have more weight to lose, I am just at the point that I do not want to do something stupid like eat something - I can tell that I am at a breaking point.'  I told her that my friend has the Optifast bars, and maybe if I could have one bar, two soups, and only two disgusting shakes, that I could stay on the full fast.  She said that women often do poorly on the bars, that it slows down their weight loss and she wasn't sure that was the answer.  I told her I wanted to try it and silently told her to stop being a Cassandra.  So I'm trying it for one week, because correct me if I am wrong, but slowing down weight loss is preferable to stopping it with a burrito to the mouth.

I also bought some new shake flavors, so that may be helpful as well.

In other news.. 11 week update:
I lost 3.6 pounds this week for a total of 57.2 pounds lost!