Eat Less, Live Longer

This was Homer's fortune cookie tonight.  I think the spirit world is speaking to me through the Simpsons.  That's cool, at least they know where to find me.

Had a tough day today, but not because of the Optifast program and the fact that I cannot eat for many months to come.  There was a mixup with the Cardiologist, and I apparently arrived an hour after my actual appointment (According to them, tho I disagree).  Even though there was no one in the waiting room, and I offered to stay as long as necessary to see the Dr, I was not allowed to stay.  I felt like it was unfair since there were mistakes on both sides, both mine and theirs... long story.

Anyway, that sent me into an emotional tailspin.  I stood there and told them that it was not fair to punish me for this, spun on my heel and walked out the door.  But tears erupted immediately and I was crying like a baby the whole way out of the office, in the elevator, and waiting for the valet.  I put on my sunglasses, but the tears just kept coming and coming, in the car, on the highway, then at my house.  I think I was crying about many things - my friend's recent death, the never-ending troubles with my ex, my worries about my health, and also just out of general frustration.  I toyed with the idea of sitting in a parking lot and just crying it out, I did not want to be around anyone or see anyone, but in the end I went home.

Aah, but here's the rub - I got home and wanted so badly to eat!!  I wanted to use food to make me happy/satisfied/tranquilized/comforted/whole.  Dear Reader I did not indulge, but man did I want to!!  Thankfully, my fiancé, my children and my mother were there to hug me and listen to me.  Once again, asking for help is my salvation.

Day 5 is almost in the bag.