fet·ish
[fet-ish, fee-tish] Show IPA
noun
1.
an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2.
any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence,respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3.
Psychology . any object or non-genital part of the body thatcauses a habitual erotic response or fixation.
I am obsessed lately with this word. I have been thinking that I have come to fetishize food. I think that may be true of the entire multi-billion dollar diet culture. I have also been thinking a lot about food issues as they correlate to alcoholism or drug addiction. I am not an alcoholic but I have known a few, and I think we are cousins of a sort.
The first time I saw '28 Days', a movie starring Sandra Bullock, about a drug addict, I thought to myself, 'That's me'. Substitute food for drugs in that scenario and my current liquid fast is my own personal rehab.
I now realize that one of my goals is to take away the 'magical potency' of food and put it in it's rightful place.
Tonight I made dinner for the first time in the six days since i have started the fast. I made pizza and broccoli for my two daughters. I actually really enjoyed touching the food, and just being around it, though I admit to being a little anxious. I had to be aware of not putting anything in my mouth, not the bit of cheese left on the counter, not the sauce that got on my finger, not even the remnants of the awesomely beautiful broccoli that stuck to the pan. And I did a good job of it.
As I served my daughters their dinner, I bent down to the table, put my chin in my hands and stared at the pizza. I then picked up the entire plate of pizza,and while the cheese made a lovely mound of liquid yumminess in the center, I held it close to my nose, inhaling deeply. My oldest said, 'Are you seriously doing that?'. 'Don't judge me', I said, as it's toasty aroma of cheesy goodness took me to a special place of blissful happiness with sunlight and roses and unicorns and... And this is what i'm talking about, Dear Reader. I love food, and it definitely elicits an unhealthy reverence in my life. I am a fetishist. Look it up, people. Sorry, unrequited love makes me cranky.
Bravo to you for getting through making the pizza without being victimized by it! You are so right ... we have to do things differently with food than we have in the past. I know I was completely addicted to food like an alcholic is addicted to alcohol. However, we're doing something so wonderful to take care of ourselves and that's definitely an amazing thing ;-)
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ReplyDeleteYeah, the smell of pizza now drives me wild!! Never did before...I can totally relate with your obsession with food. Mine is cooking it and eating it. I get such a rush from being in the kitchen, cooking away with butter and salt. Something's gotta change! I think the greatest thing about the fast is all of our choices are made for us and we now have time to think about/research healthy foods that we might actually enjoy eating. This is new terrain for me!
ReplyDeleteThat is so true, Melissa. I feel like my actual taste buds became so corrupted that I'm looking forward to carrots tasting like candy after the fast. :)
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